Pawpaw

Pawpaw passed away last Thursday, November 15^th.  It was as peaceful as it could be, with all of the family gathered around his bed.  His passing was definitely bittersweet.  It completely and totally sucks that he’s not here with us anymore, but we’re so thankful to know that he is in Heaven with a new, healthy body that isn’t bound by the effects of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s anymore.  By the way, if there ever comes a way to punch Alzheimer’s Disease right in the face, I will do it and not think twice.

I wasn’t sure how to approach Pawpaw’s sickness and death with the boys; I knew Russell would understand it a little bit and I wanted to be as honest as I could for their little ages.  I went home Wednesday night and told the boys that Pawpaw was very sick and that we needed to say a special prayer for him that night.  It went something like, “Dear Jesus, please be with Pawpaw and help him not to hurt anymore.”  Then Thursday after he passed, I asked the boys if they wanted to give him one more kiss and tell him goodbye.  They both did, and I could tell Russell was unsure of what he was seeing, as Pawpaw looked much different than he had just the day before.  I told him not to worry, that Pawpaw may look different now but that he didn’t look that way in Heaven.  In Heaven he had a new body that looked like a candle and was one of the brightest candles in Heaven, and he seemed okay with that.  The next few days were a blur, but there were sweet little nuggets that came out of the mouths of my babes.  I had to write them down so that I’ll always remember them.  And I can’t wait to tell them more about their Pawpaw as they get older.  He was a wonderful man that I’m sad they didn’t have the true pleasure of knowing. 

 

Some of their words:    

 

*Friday morning “Is Pawpaw not dead now?” –Brandon

*Friday night Ben said to the boys “Thank you for being so good and quiet at the funeral home,” to which Brandon replied “Yeah, because if we be loud we might wake up Pawpaw.”

*Sunday afternoon “Why is Pawpaw in that fing? (the casket)” to which Russell replied “Because he died, but that’s just his body; his soul is in Heaven now.” 

And Russell’s sweet explanation of Pawpaw being in Heaven, not quite word for word but as close as I remember it:

“Pawpaw’s soul is in Heaven.  You have a body, and then your soul is in your heart.  When you ask Jesus to come into your heart and save you and He says Yes, then when you die your body stays here but your heart floats up to Heaven on the one-way to Jesus train.”

 

Pops, you will be forever missed, but we will keep your memory alive by constantly remembering and telling the stories of you before this stupid sickness took over.  It still doesn’t feel real that you are not here with us anymore.  No Sunday, holiday, family reunion, or any other day will ever be the same without you here.  I miss you greatly, but will see you again one day.  Please watch over all of us until that time.  I love you.

 

PS:  Thank you for the feather I saw again today; I’m glad you are here with me.