I've Decided It's Time

For several years now I've thrown around the idea (in my head only, never verbalized) of doing a bikini competition.  I don't know what appealed to me about it:  the competition itself, the working out, the thought of the final result?  I never could quite put my finger on it, but it was in my head that my 30's were going to be "my decade" and a bikini competition is one thing I wanted to do.

Fast-forward about a year and I was still no closer to my goal.  But do you know who was?  One of my best friends from childhood, Jessica.  Girlfriend got her stuff together, busted her butt, and ROCKED that stage (wish I could've seen it in person!)!  And boy did that just fan the flames of desire for me.  But again, fast-forward several more months and I still hadn't started thinking seriously about it.  A passing thought, absolutely.  Hours admiring the achievements and transformations of those who did act seriously on their desire, sure.  But any action on my part?  Nope, please pass my glass of wine.

It was not until November 2016 that I said "Screw it, I want to go for it" and began researching and looking for local and upcoming show dates, I found a drug-free organization (National Gym Association) that had a local chapter hosting a show a few months out (March 25th), so it gave me right around 4 months to get ready.  I reached out to a trainer (John Busing with G.A.T.A.) and told him what I was looking for. We talked and he seemed positive that he could work with my schedule, lack of knowledge, horrible nutrition (!!) and stubborn personality, but I told him I wanted to think about it over the weekend (fear gets me every time) and would let him know.

I took this "thinking weekend" to finally verbalize to Ben that I wanted to compete (December 1st).  He didn't (and probably still doesn't) get it.  Didn't/doesn't understand the desire to pay someone to tell me to eat right and workout.  Didn't/doesn't understand how simply "looking good" in a bathing suit isn't motivation enough to wake up and workout.  Not to mention that we're rarely home and when we are I'm covered up with laundry, dishes, homework, etc.  God bless him for also worrying about what not doing well or not placing might do to my mental state and self confidence.  His concerns are all legitimate, and unfortunately I can't explain my answers well enough to make him understand the view from my side. But the thought of competing consumed me all weekend and, against Ben's wishes, I began mentioning to other people that I wanted to do this.

And on that Tuesday, December 6th, I sent the text to John saying "Let's go for it!"  So that's the start of what's to come!!!!