Random Thoughts on a Sunday Night

 I can't believe it is the end of June already!  I swear, this year has FLOWN by; each day seems to pass a little quicker. 

My mind has been running lately with all the thoughts. Thoughts of my little impact on this world. Thoughts of how to raise good kids that grow into good human beings. Thoughts on life after this world. It can be overwhelming in my brain at times. So much is going on in the world and it just seems like it will never, ever end. It scares me. 

But then I think about the good things in this life. The happiness I get from sitting on the back porch each day. The smile that a beautiful sunrise brings to my face.  When my sweet dog nuzzles under my arm to get my attention. 

Yes, this world gets heavy.  But if we stop for just a minute and think about it, the good Lord gives us little glimpses of Heaven on this earth each day. 

Fast Forward Four Years

 Who would've thought that it would be almost FOUR years before I decided to pay this little part of the internet any attention again?? 

What makes me laugh (or cry?) the most is that one of my last posts was about printing my first baby's high school schedule....And NOW I'm working on printing high school GRADUATION announcements!  I am really not sure what to do with myself! 

There's been a lot going on the past 4 years, but for now we'll just say that Life Is Good. 

ctrl + alt + delete

...And I really just want to "ctrl + alt + delete" in order to End Task and start over!  My mind is going 15 directions (maybe 16?) which means nothing is getting my full attention, and therefore nothing seems like it is getting done!  I have what feels like 5 to do lists, because writing things down does help me, but then I feel overwhelmed at the items on those lists.  So my brain will switch gears to something else and I'll begin thinking of everything I want to do with that, but it's also a lot so I bounce to something else.  UGH!!!!  I'm hoping this feeling is just because school is about to start, and that once we get a couple of days of Back to School under our belts my mind will calm down and organize itself.  But until then, I suppose all these "tabs" will remain open and we'll have to see which one times out first.
Anyone else feel this way at the start of the school year?  How do you cope with all the "I need to..."s?    

Back to School

School starts back this week, and I am currently having a moment.  You see, I've just printed my first baby's HIGH SCHOOL SCHEDULE!  I'm not ready for that!  Obviously I've known the day was coming, but I did not realize just how soon it would get here! 
I was excited at first about the thought of him starting high school; I was pushing and encouraging him to try and do every club/activity/sport I always wished I had done.  But now, when we are just a few days away from actually being there, I just want to lock him up in the house and keep him at this age forever! 
Then there's the second baby; the one with a heart as good as gold but a temper as quick as his Mama's.  He is going into his last year of elementary school!  He's not supposed to be that big yet!!  How can the little boy who still sometimes will lay his head on my shoulder now be the top of the ladder in elementary school?!?  

Thank goodness Baby Girl won't start Pre-K this year.  She's BEYOND ready, but her birthday will keep her back one more year, and emotionally I am okay with that!  But that does make me realize that I will send her to Pre-K at the same time her older brother starts Middle School!  Lord, help me now! 

There's An App??

A friend mentioned that there is an app to use for posting...it's like a whole new world has opened up for me now!!! I might actually start to share things again! :-)

Game Day Cont'd...

After prejudging we had a several hour break where we could either hang around the venue or we could go do our own thing before coming back for the night show.  We chose to go grab some lunch (for everyone else's benefit; not mine) nearby and then try to relax for the next little bit.
We went to a little place close to Zoo Atlanta called "Dakota Blue".  It was absolutely delicious and I recommend it to anyone that is ever in or around Atlanta.  I did end up having half a chicken, cheese, tomato omelette and oh my goodness it was good!  I could do a whole other post about this place; it really was just so good.  After lunch Ben, Addi, Brandon, and I headed back to the hotel to check in and give me a little time to rest.  I wanted so badly to take a nap, but there was no way that my mind and my adrenaline were going to slow down enough for that to happen.  I did sit and keep my feet up, but trying to truly rest was out of the question.
The night show was set to start at 6pm with us needing to be back for a quick meeting at 5:00.  Beckie and Savanah came back with me (I owe them SO BIG!) to touch up the hair and makeup, and it was so nice to again have a little bit of distraction.  I still don't know that I had a whole lot to say, but they kept me entertained if nothing else.
For the night show, we were told we were having a "grand entrance" where we actually got on stage in the basement and the stage was raised up to the main level!!  How cool!  Competitors were lined up by number in rows, and the stage truly was raised from the ground up!  I haven't seen any videos or many pictures of this, but it felt so cool!  And not gonna lie, your girl here ended up front and center (strictly coincidence) which was an awesome feeling!  A lot intimidating, but still awesome.
When we were raised up, I immediately heard my cheering section on the side of the audience.  They took up probably 1/3 of their section!  Talk about making a girl feel so loved and so special!  I cannot thank my coach, coworkers, good friends, and great family for coming down (in 2-hour traffic!) to support me! I could not say thank you enough to each of them for their support!
Once we exited the stage it was time for the bikini competitors to do their individual routines for the crowd.  We also lined up in "judging formation", but only to show the crowd how tough of a decision the judges had.  Not sure if I mentioned it, but I competed in both Novice and Open.  There were 4 of us in Novice and 6 in Open.  The competition was definitely there, but I really felt good about my chances.  I was a little less nervous for the night routine, but not much.  I could see all of my support crew in the audience, and standing on a stage in a bitty bikini in front of all of them was a little unnerving.  Most of them have seen me in a bathing suit, but something about being all dolled up and in heels just makes you feel a little vulnerable!
We lined up on the side of the stage for them to present the trophies.  In 4th place...Competitor #178...Me. :-(  I felt my head drop and remember thinking "All of this work for last place".  But you're on stage, so you suck it up, smile, and say "Thank You" for your trophy.  When we walked off was when I had to work to keep my composure.  I wanted so badly to cry, but I did NOT want to be "that girl".  I have a lot of mixed thoughts and feelings about my placings (as did several strangers in the audience who approached me afterwards).  I knew I wasn't coming in with a fantastic package, but I was proud of the changes I saw in just the 3 months of training.  And when I look at the competition I was up against, I felt I had more to offer than they did.  Unfortunately I was so nervous on the stage, and apparently it showed in my pre-judging presentation and that was a lot of the feedback that I received.  I was critiqued on some physical changes to make, but the biggest feedback was in regards to my stage personality.  They said stage presence was great and that I looked like I belonged up there, but to just loosen up and look like I was having more fun.  I can handle that, and it excites me to think about what I could do if I not only bring a great package, but also a damn good stage personality.  I think it could be dangerous!

After the show, this girl ate her weight through just about everything!  I had a french dip sandwich at the hotel for dinner (plus my wine...can't forget the wine!), and my 4am snack on Sunday was the leftover pancake and bagel from the previous day's lunch.  Then Ben and I went to brunch (back to Dakota Blue) where I had a HUGE burrito, nacho chips, and an order of chocolate chip pancakes.  They were supposed to be blueberry, but I wasn't going to complain! Oh, and a pimosa (pineapple juice and champagne).  Over the next several days I felt like I could NOT STOP EATING ("you're killin' me smalls" was said a few times by my coach) and all of the extra carbs were awesome.  I now definitely see how people who've been on strict diets end up rebounding so quickly.  It's tough!

All in all I absolutely loved the experience.  I will do it again (August 2017 actually) and will bring one heck of a package to the stage.  And if you've read this far, thank you too for sticking with me!!

Saturday-Game Day

It's Go Time!  Man, what an experience!  I have to start at the beginning because I want to remember all the feels from this weekend.  And there were a lot of feels, so my apologies for the length of this post if you are choosing to follow along!
I posted a little already about Friday, but that was in the morning when I was still busy and had things to do.  Fast-forward to about noon when it was time to get ready so I could get to check-in's and get my tan...Now's when I start to freak out a little.  Well, maybe more than a little!  I was in a panic because I don't really have any loose-fitting clothes to wear for my spray tan.  I was in a panic because I told the tanning girl that I could be down there around 3:00.  I was in a panic because I wanted to still look presentable when I met the promoters, but back to panic number 1 over the clothing choice.  I was in a panic trying to straighten my hair so that Beckie didn't haven't to spend so much time on it Saturday morning. Looking back it was all little stuff, but it was stuff that was big to me in that moment.
Everything finally came together and I made it down to check-in's and tan just a little after 3:00 (stupid Atlanta traffic!), and checked in to the hotel (the Westin!!) a little bit later.  Once in the hotel it was time to relax, read a book, rest...Anything to stay off my feet but still try to keep my mind from wandering.  I managed to do pretty well thanks to a good book, and Beckie and Savanah showing up to keep me company for the night and to be my beauty team the next morning.  There wasn't much sleeping going on for the night.  I had a hard time falling asleep and when I would start to doze off I'd dream about the competition and end up waking right back up.  Good thing I was running on adrenaline the next day anyway!!

Saturday AM:  It is up and at 'em bright and early at 5am!  But since I had straightened my hair the day before it was more like "Hit the snooze for 10 more minutes!"  Some habits are hard to break.
We got right to it and started with hair, then makeup.  I could've gotten by with doing my own hair, but I am SO thankful I had Beckie (and Savanah) around to help with my makeup!  There is no way I could've accomplished the look they were going for on my own  It was beautiful.
I think I was quiet most of the morning, just trying to get my oatmeal and eggs in.  That was the best tasting food I'd had almost all week!  Plus my mind was still in so many places that I didn't really know what to say.  I just wanted everything to be ready so that I could get to the competitors meeting on time.  And of course I ended up running a little behind my time schedule, so there was a mini meltdown about that.  But no tears were shed, and I arrived on time so it was good.
On Friday I had met one of the figure competitors who was also brand new to this, so I immediately started looking for her.  She and I bonded throughout the day trying to navigate through this experience.  The morning felt fairly rushed at times, and somewhat unorganized at others.  The show was supposed to start at 10am, with tanning touch-ups beginning at 9.  When the tanning people were just arriving at 9:30, it made for quite an anxious little bit until they told us they were pushing the start of the show back a little bit.  Not sure what the audience thought about that, but I wasn't complaining!  Once tanning was done, it was hurry, hurry, hurry to do final touches (jewelry, suit glue, new lipstick) and get in place.  Looking back, I didn't take the appropriate amount of time to warm up, and I will definitely do that differently next time.
Once we lined up, we were called out on stage for our individual T-walk.  I was the third in line, and as it got closer and closer to me I could feel the nerves piling up.  I tried so hard to just listen to the music and relax, but the minute my number was called it was like I went blank.  Well, blank as in I don't remember a whole lot about it!  I could hear my workout buddy in the audience cheering me on, and my family over in the corner, but I don't remember much more than that.  I think I hit all my points and turns and poses, but I could be wrong.  Comparisons came next, where all us girls were lined up side by side for the judges to do their thing.  Talk about nerve-wracking!  Them judging the back gave me a little bit of time to breathe and relax, but it still didn't seem long enough.  Before I knew it, it was "turn and walk to the front" so I had to put that smile back on and go again.  Comparisons felt like they took forever; I could literally feel myself shaking with nerves and could feel my smile quivering too.  I was so relieved when we got to walk off that stage and I could go put my flip flops on and sit with my people because that meant I was done and it was time to eat!!

...to be continued